Therapy sounds great in theory, right? A safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through, gain insights and feel truly listened to. But if you’ve been to therapy, you’ll know—it’s not always easy.
In fact, sometimes therapy feels like the emotional equivalent of going to the gym when you really don’t want to. You show up, you push through some uncomfortable moments, and after some sessions you might even find yourself wondering, was that worth it? But then, little by little, you might start to notice shifts in your life. Situations that used to unsettle you or take up lots of head space, don’t hit as hard. You respond differently in circumstances where you used to feel stuck. You begin to understand yourself in ways you hadn’t before.
That’s the magic of therapy—it’s not instant relief, but deeper, lasting change. And like anything worthwhile, it takes effort. But it’s the kind of effort that can pay off in ways you never expected.
So, if you’ve ever found yourself thinking therapy is really hard work, you are certainly not alone. As therapists, we are the first to admit this. In fact, we think it helps to be upfront about the challenges of therapy so that you can go into the process with your eyes wide open.
So here are all the ways we think therapy is hard work, but one of the best decisions you can make for yourself.
Therapists don’t give you the answers
But they do help you find your own. Which is much more empowering in the long run. When we’re overwhelmed or struggling we sometimes just want other people to tell us what to do. It can be messy wading your way through uncertainty and potential solutions or paths you could take. But an effective therapist will empower you with the tools to make your own decisions not just now, but into the future.
Sometimes you might come up against some tricky home truths
Therapy isn’t just about venting. A good therapist helps you see patterns, understand your emotions, and challenge old ways of thinking and responding. Sometimes, that means confronting things you’ve been avoiding. It can be uncomfortable at first, but on the other side of that discomfort can be clarity, growth, and a deeper sense of self-awareness.
Facing your feelings can be tough
It’s natural to want to push away painful emotions. But suppressing feelings doesn’t make them go away. In the long run, it usually just tends to make them louder and stronger. Therapy helps you face and process emotions in a way that makes them more manageable. It’s like finally unpacking a cluttered closet—you might not enjoy the process, but you’ll feel lighter afterwards.
Progress is rarely linear and takes time
When clients first come to therapy understandably they’re eager to feel better and want to make progress as quickly as possible. Lasting change takes time though, and sometimes progress feels slow—or even like you’re taking a step backward. But that doesn’t mean it’s not working. Change and growth is rarely a straight path, and every small step forward (even the wobbly ones) adds up.
It’s human to resist change
It’s human nature to resist change, especially when it involves stepping out of our comfort zone. This resistance isn’t a flaw but a protective mechanism. Breaking old habits and thought patterns can feel uncomfortable at first. But that discomfort is actually a sign that change is happening. Therapy helps you push through the resistance and create new, healthier ways of thinking and responding.
You need to actively participate
Therapy is so much more than coming to see your therapist once week, fortnight or month. Some people might even say that turning up to sessions is the easy part (although others would thoroughly disagree!). For real change to occur, reflection and action needs to happen outside of therapy too. Depending on how you work with your therapist, this might look like homework, such a monitoring your thoughts or practising new ways of coping with your emotions. Or it might be less structured or obvious work like practising tuning into your body or noticing what triggers shifts in your mood or thinking.
It can take time to find a therapist who feels right for you
Some people are lucky and land on the right therapist first go. For others, it can take time to find someone who they gel with. Feeling comfortable, heard, and understood in therapy is key. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s worth exploring other options—because the right therapeutic relationship can make all the difference.
We don’t shy away from the fact that therapy can sometimes be hard going. But so is staying stuck in the same patterns. Growth takes work and grit, but that effort can potentially lead to something powerful—better mental health, healthy relationships, and a life that feels more fulfilling and meaningful. And we think that’s worth every bit of effort.
