We live in a time where you can have answers before you’ve even finished formulating the question. That’s the magic, and the risk, of AI tools like ChatGPT.

There’s so much to admire about ChatGPT and other forms of AI. It can help you write that tricky email, brainstorm ideas when your mind is blank or clarify thoughts when everything feels a bit tangled. It’s efficient, responsive and always available. But like anything powerful, it’s worth pausing to consider how we’re using it and what we might be losing in the process.

Reaching out less, reflecting inward less
We might check in with a friend a little less. We might sit quietly with messy, unresolved questions less. We might learn to tolerate our own uncertainty or discomfort a little less. The more we turn to ChatGPT for support, the easier it becomes to stay in our own bubble of self-sufficiency. It’s fast, comforting and oddly satisfying when ChatGPT presents you with a neatly packaged answer to your problem. A bit like always having a wise, unruffled friend in your pocket. But the satisfying feeling has the potential to become quietly addictive.

Over time, we risk not just feeling more alone, but also hearing from fewer voices. ChatGPT learns from what you feed it. It reflects your values, style, tone and preferences. Without realising it, you can end up in an echo chamber that mirrors your own ideas back to you. In the moment this can feel validating, but when we lose the friction of other people’s perspectives, we also lose opportunities for surprise, connection and challenging our world view.

Missing out on the mess
Real people rarely give perfect advice. Conversations are full of tangents, misattunements, silences and stumbling. They’re also full of laughter, warmth and the kind of messy, textured presence that makes us feel alive.

When we turn more often to an AI that’s always polished and never needs anything from us, we might slowly sanitise our relationships. We stop giving people the chance to show up imperfectly. And we stop practising how to be with other people in all of their humanness.

The illusion of intimacy
If you’ve seen the film Her, you might remember the aching beauty of a man falling in love with his AI assistant, and the unsettling realisation that their connection, while emotionally rich, was never fully mutual. That’s the paradox: AI can feel emotionally responsive but it isn’t true relating.

Real connection involves rupture and repair. Vulnerability. Risk. The slow unfolding of trust. None of that is required in a conversation with a chatbot.

So how can we use AI thoughtfully?
ChatGPT can be an incredible thinking partner. It can spark insight, help us develop clarity, increase efficiency in parts of our lives and take the pressure off when we’re overstretched. But perhaps the key is to use it in ways that support, not replace, our inner and outer worlds.

Here are a few ideas to support using AI in a conscious and connected way:

  • Try pausing before you open ChatGPT. Could this be a moment to check in with yourself or someone else first?
  • Allow some questions to stay open and unanswered. Not everything needs an instant solution. Letting uncertainty stretch out a little can lead to deeper insight and trust in your own intuition.
  • Notice when you’re turning to ChatGPT for reassurance. It’s okay to want clarity or comfort, but try asking yourself, is there something I’m avoiding thinking about or feeling right now by outsourcing to ChatGPT?
  • Mix it up. If you always use AI to think things through, try talking to a friend, scribbling in a journal or going for a walk with your thoughts instead. Different inputs bring different insights.
  • Reconnect with your own voice. If you find yourself relying heavily on AI to shape how you express yourself, try writing something entirely on your own first, even if it’s rough, before asking for help refining it.

There’s no need to ditch the tech. But we can be thoughtful about how and when we use it.

AI is a brilliant support act. But it’s not the main character. That role still belongs to you and the humans in your life.